So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
