It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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