Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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