i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
i now understand why vodka
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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