loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The struggles of a small town man whore
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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