I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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