they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
