I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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