My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
