It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
where am i from again
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
