Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
