I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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