South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
