My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
