I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
