Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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