Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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