Don't make out with my wife yet
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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