He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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