The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
