I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
