ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My feet surprised me
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
