Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
