This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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