actually, I'm a sock model
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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