He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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