so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
