OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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