TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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