Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
