I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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