he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
