i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
