My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just took my morning after pill in the library
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
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