Don't you send me to vm
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
