I wanna bring you to show and tell
Buhtt sex?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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