trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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