somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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