the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
