so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
