For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Randomize
