somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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