A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
