i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
