She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
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