I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
