Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
