Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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