Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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