I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
